School is starting tomorrow.. ..Already..

So school is about to start and this is where Torrie gets excited about classes and studying and I groan inwardly and sometimes outwardly. Luckily this semester I start a couple of classes in my actual major, so I'm hoping that will help with the other hard classes that I have to take(physiology being at the top of that list and then math after that). Luckily I passed the math placement test so I was able to get placed in math 1010 and didn't have to take the other classes over again. I'm also taking voice lessons from the university this semester, so we'll see how that goes but it should be fun. Although I know its going to be stressful I am kind of excited for this semester(don't tell Torrie ;). I like having the structure in my life and I feel a lot more effective when I'm busy like that. That's about it as far as my life goes.. I'm sure school will spice things up a bit. Now as far as fat sculpting goes..

Torrie says I always make scary things so she asked me to make a swan.. a fat swan.. so I said I'd give it a go but you can all judge for yourselves.. I didn't think it quite turned out.. Maybe a really old, fat, short necked swan that doesn't look quite right. Maybe fat sculptures weren't meant to be beautiful. They're beautiful because.. they're unique.. :) Okay maybe not beautiful but certainly unique

Other news in the fat people world

A lot of times the fat takes a shape without much help from me and I try to use that to make what I see in that shape. So I tried to make something from what this shape started as and.. it didn't quite turn out. So what better to do than to have you all try to guess what I was trying to make. Yay! It might help if you know me better but I'm pretty sure my blog hasn't gone big yet considering the number of views..(You would've thought fat sculpting would have taken off eh?)

Okay can you guess what Matt was trying to make??? If you can guess before looking at the second one then your really good, if the second then not as impressive. :)

That was the first attempt and here is the second although it doesn't help much

Things that start to happen when working at a beef factory..

So I've been working at the beef plant for a couple months now and I have started to realize that you can start to do some pretty weird things that people normally don't do.. example mold fat into sculptures.

Its been a while and there have been some interesting happenings in world of the beef plant and in the world of my little fat people. First some interesting things that have happened to me since working at the beef plant. Many days when I leave the plant they are bringing in or have brought the cows that will be slaughtered the next day. So I have taken to warning them about what is going to happen to them the next day..yes.. by mooing to them. What is really surprising about this is that they don't seem to worried about it after I tell them. Hmm, maybe I need to work on my mooing language. I thought about trying to make it sound more like a hectic moo but considering that my co-workers already think that I'm odd when they see my fat sculptures I decided against it. But then one day I figured out that I must have been saying the wrong thing to them because when I came out three younger cows were heading towards where the other cows were.. maybe I was mooing that they'd get a feast tomorrow instead of becoming one.. oops.. But the young cows were herded away by a four by four truck.

Since the disturbance with the cyclops some disturbing things have been in the fat village. The lizard was found by the cowboy looking through the fat village seeming to head toward the high fat prison where the cyclops is being held but was caught and taken into custody and later that night the cowboy caught another strange creature trying to get a look at high fat prison..

Well this one was also taken into prison while he stuck out his tongue in protest. But when morning came the cowboy was found injured and taken to the hospital and the high fat prison had been broken into and all prisoners escaped but pictures of those who broke in were caught on the fat security cameras..

The cyclops friend.. guess they think they complete each other or something..

Guess he came to get his little imp brother out of prison with the the Cyclops friend.

Yikes!! No wonder the cowboy was injured fighting against those two.

But a search is going to be led by the super sniffer.. shown here.

With that Shnauz they should be able to sniff em out in no time. :)

Voldemort had a son?!

Can you see the resemblance?

Guess Harry Potters son will have to take care of him.. :)

Do they really exist? (Not giants this time)

I done did see it! I did!

Tell us did it look anything like what you see here.

Da da da da duh dum dum

Big cats

Another post!

I like to watch nature shows and I've watched a couple this week which inspired me to try to make a big cat. It didn't turn out quite like I wanted it too but those that have used fat to make sculptures will back me when I say it can be kind of temperamental to sculpt from. :)

Proof that giants exist

I am one to enjoy fantasy books and I may even be considered a nerd by some that know me but usually I'm not one to think that the things that I read in books are really there. I did often think how cool it would be if they were there but never quite got to the point of believing(this may be on account that I never got my letter from Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry). Then something happened that changed my opinion, not on Hogwarts(too bad), but on giants.

You can start the ridicule now if you'd like but just wait until you see this striking evidence. I have a picture(that is proof!) that giants do exist. I can imagine that some of you may find this hard to believe and might scoff at such things as this but I ask you to give a better option for what I saw on this fateful day a bit over a year ago..



If that isn't a giants four square ball I don't know what is. Really, look at it. If you have another option other than a giants four square ball then you can try to convince me otherwise but as far as I can tell that's a giants four square ball. :)

After the issue with a Cyclops I decided that we needed to hire someone to protect the fat people and there village so here is the latest fat art..

No Animals were harmed in the process of making these.. oh wait...

It's not the easiest life for my little fat people. People like to destroy them and then there are just the dangers of the miniature fat man being in a meat factory. You never really know what could happen or what kind of little fat creature you might run into.. Today I knew I would have to keep my watch up because I saw a fat man murder...

Okay so I didn't see the murder but I heard the fat man crying for help (oh yes, they do talk. It's a language called fattish. Very few people know it.. in fact I may be the only one) I rushed near to where I heard the fat man crying for help and this is what I saw.. Warning: If you are in any way sensitive to violent scenes you may not want to continue to the picture..

Yes a little fat man had been crushed from the waist down. I tried to save him but alas all he said before he took his last fat breath was: "the eye the eye" As you can imagine this didn't leave me much to go on. I needed to do some investigating and quick before there was another victim.

I figured that I needed to find someone that had a different perspective than myself. I decided to go talk to my fat bird.. (he's not really fat but he's fat) Oh.. you know what I mean.

He said that he only saw the back of a very large man as he ran away from the fallen fat man. I told him to keep a look out and let me know if anything changed.

I was at work so I did actually have to work.. but as I was working I started to notice some odd things.. The little fat village seemed too quiet even the fat animals in the fat forest weren't making any noise. Then at the end of my work day I started my task of waiting for the meat to be frozen and when the last piece of frozen meat came out I turned and my breath propelled itself from my lungs. Before my eyes was the perpetrator.. You might wonder how I could be sure of it but all of the sudden the last words of the little fat man made sense.

"the eye the eye"

A Cyclops.. A struggle followed and I barely escaped with my life but remembering the little fallen fat man gave me strength in heat of struggle. You can all rest easy now. The cyclops is now imprisoned in maximum fat prison. He's never getting out of there.

And I gotta say it is kinda cool to say that I beat a cyclops.. even if it was a fat one.. ;)

So once again I had some spare time while waiting for the meat to go down the conveyor so I took some fat and started to mold it. The pictures are a little blurry because they are from my phone but these are more like some of the ones that I did near the beginning of my "fat" work.

You might wonder why he is screaming.. a good question but wouldn't you be screaming if you saw a demon vampire coming after you..

It's like biting into an apple and finding it rotten inside.



It's a day planned at the beach, but it rains all day.



It's a movie that you love, except for that one lousy character.



It's a flower that is beautiful but smells vile.



It's like that point in a game when you know you're going to win, and then someone steals the victory right from under your nose.



It's like going to have a campfire and once the coals are nice and ready, you realize that you forgot the smore stuff.



It's like going to kiss my beautiful wife and seeing that she just put on lip gloss.



What is it that I'm talking about you might wonder...



It's a cold in the summer time..

Meat.. Mmm Mmm Good!

So I'm sure this will be a sporadic and random blog at best, so if you're looking for something that will be a regular read, this might not be the place; but, if your looking for something that could be entertaining..well, maybe you'll find that.. some of the time anyway.

For those that don't know, I'm working at a beef plant in Hyrum just near Logan and it is.. less than the ideal job but! it pays well and.. well that's about the best part of it. When I started my search for jobs I was more than optimistic, thinking that I would be able to find a job fairly easy and quickly.. this wasn't exactly the case. After looking for almost a month, I only had done one side job, which took two hours and for which I was paid 25 dollars, which isn't too bad for two hours work, but for a month's pay it didn't quite make it.

I had been applying for most jobs that I would be able to be good at, then finally changed to applying for all jobs that were available..even the less desirable ones. That's when I saw a job opening for the beef plant. I went to apply.

On arriving at the factory, I was a little uneasy and started to pull out before having stopped to apply, but the thought of needing to provide for my beautiful wife made me turn back around and get out of the car. When exiting the car, one can't help but notice the pungent aroma of cows(which were being led up a ramp to their death, and then eventually to our bellies), mixed with the manure, mixed with something else that all combines to equal one of the most deplorable smells I've had the pleasure of smelling.

Well I got called that night and they asked me to come in the next day for an interview. So, the next day I BRAVED the smell and went in for an interview. After the first interview I knew that I would get the job (I got the great pit-in-the-stomach feeling as I realized that I was probably stuck). They called me back for a second interview, told me I had a job if I wanted it and if I could pass their drug test (I did, Yay!), and then I started that next Monday with my training.

Training was, how best to say this.. ah yes.. it was boring. Then after some training we heard that we were lucky enough to go on a tour of the plant.. yay.. I won't go into too much detail here but I found out where the worst smell of the place came from-- that would be the killing floor. Yes, and we were lucky enough to get to see the whole process that went into the providing of our meat. Killing, skinning and using every part of the cow, blood and bones included. The plant, world wide, slaughters about 90,000 cows a day which equals quite a bit of stinkage.

Now, if I seem slightly negative about this place.. it's because I am, but, at the same time, I'm very grateful that I don't have to do all that goes on there by myself to get the meat that I so enjoy. With that in mind, I could have gone my whole life without seeing the process and been totally content.

My job isn't too bad though. I control machines that grind the meat for ground beef. Its a fairly simple job and I now am finished with training which is good. After the meat is ground it is packaged and put into a machine that freezes the meat to be boxed up. The freezing process takes about 25-30 minutes for one to go through the whole machine. Now me describing this might seem kind of pointless and less than entertaining, which I agree about, but I do have this 25 minutes or so to just watch and make sure they don't get jammed on the conveyor belt.. well I don't do to well just sitting and watching the meat go frozen by on the conveyor. I got a little bored and on one of the first days I built a snowman out of fat.. yes.. f-a-t. The next day I decided to make a face, simple two eyes and a mouth, it passed the time and sounds a bit gross and probably is but once you're around something enough you just get used to it.

The face I made was destroyed shortly after by one of the workers as was the snowman, so the next day I made a face with its tongue sticking out to show how I felt about the abuse of my little fat people (as I now have affectionately come to know them as).

Now looking back, I wish I would've documented all of these little fat people that I made so you could see the progress I've made in my talent. I've always said that I didn't get any of my mom's artistic ability but if I continue as I am maybe I could make some headway in a new kind of art.. that's right.. the fat kind of art. Well I did take a picture of the latest face that I sculpted. You can tell me what you think of my favorite piece of all of them so far..